My boys' futures

Ian has big plans for his future.

• He wants a mohawk. It must be the tall, spiky kind.

• He wants to be a 'Marshanary' (mercenary for those who don't speak Ianese). But not just any kind of mercenary. He wants to be the bad kind that kills people and doesn't get killed.
  

• He wants to be rich.

• He wants to go to heaven. He is conflicted a little. He wants to do things for the Lord, but isn't sure a 'marshanary' is the right thing to do.

Evan has plans, too. His are a little more simple. He wants to be Harry Potter. Anyone know where I can get his application for Hogwarts?