"Five Loaves and Two Fish" abridged by Ian

The other night during their bedtime reading, Kenneth shared the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand. As he often does, Kenneth used cloze sentences and prompted Ian to fill in the blanks. Here's Ian's spin on the biblical account.

Kenneth: Jesus was teaching a huge crowd of people. Lunch time came and there was nothing for the people to eat. One of the disciples said that he had seen a little boy with five loaves of bread and two fish. So Jesus...

Ian: ... told the disciples, "Steal the kid's food and I'll make it bigger and give it to everyone else."

Kenneth: Are you sure that's what happened? Jesus told him to steal it?

Ian: No, actually he (the disciple) took out his cell phone and called for someone to bring everybody something good to eat.